Category Archives: Weird News

It’s Official. Rod Blagojevich Is Delusional.

Are you watching? Are you? It’s like watching a trainwreck. I can’t look away. He waits til the very last second of his impeachment trial and then actually expects to give a speech about getting a cup of coffee for the prior governor and what a great guy he is and how they HAVE to let him bring in witnesses…and expects it to WORK?

The man thinks he’s in a movie.  Mr. Smith Goes to Washington, from the sound of it. “I’m here to appeal to your sense of responsibility.” Um, Governor? Their sense of responsibility is WHY you are being impeached. “How can you ask a Governor to resign just for trying to help senior citizens?” Do you really believe that’s why you’re here? “I did that in my FIRST term! If it was impeachable, how come you didn’t impeach me then?” Yes, but you see, governor, it isn’t like a mulligan in a golf game. This isn’t a do-over, and your prior mess ups don’t get erased.

I’m transfixed. Truly, the amount of bullshit being slung is impressive. He isn’t even really addressing the charges of abuses of power. In fact, he’s refusing to move on from the  second article of impeachment, the charge regarding obtaining prescription drugs from Canada. He’s dropped every big political name in the Democratic party from Ted Kennedy to Bill Richardson to Rahm Emannuel. Not that it’s working. Many of the state legislators (when the camera cuts to them) actually look embarrassed on his behalf. I have to keep closing my mouth; it drops open on its own.

If he’s going to go article by article, it’s going to be a very long day. I’m not going to do the Blago impeachment drinking game. Alcohol poisoning kills.

Planned Parenthood is Not Evil and You Are Not Saving Anyone.

Mr. Matthew Derosia has issues. He’s been committed nine times since 2004, which amounts to more than twice a year. So, Red, why are we talking about some guy you’ve never heard of you ask? Because last Thursday, Matthew Derosia took his mother’s boyfriend’s SUV and rammed it into the Planned Parenthood clinic in St. Paul Minnesota.

Fortunately, no one was injured, because Matthew decided to destroy private property at 7:42am before business hours. Damage appears to be minimal, and the clinic was not closed down.

Matthew’s statement is particularly disturbing, stating that Jesus told him to “stop the murders.” One has to wonder…what would’ve happened had he actually committed his crime when there were people at the clinic? If he had run down a pedestrian or actually harmed someone inside the clinic? Why is it okay then? Why do living, breathing people take precedence over potential people?

Enough. Planned Parenthood is not evil. In fact, I’m fairly sure that most people don’t even know what Planned Parenthood does beyond abortions. How about a few facts from a nurse who actually worked for PP?

  1. Abortions account for precisely 3% of Planned Parenthood’s business. The vast majority of their business comes from office visits and contraceptives.
  2. They also provide assistance for low/no cost mammograms for low income women, pediatric services for the children of low income parents, pre-natal services for women who decide to have their babies, annual pap smears, sterilization services for men and women, counseling for teens, and, of course, contraceptives.
  3. They contribute more to their local communities than nearly any other medical non profit organization.
  4. They provide MUCH needed sex education to teens and schools. I was an educator for PP for a year…some of the things that are accepted by teens as fact are plain scary.

Planned Parenthood is not the enemy. The people who work there are, in my experience, some of the most empathetic, community spirited people I have ever met. They are dedicated to the cause of women’s health, and the truly believe in what they’re doing. It’s sad that the people who work so hard to put them out of business aren’t even aware of half of the services provided in those clinics, or that the people who are helped are usually low income with nowhere else to go.

Additionally, many anti-choice women make use of Planned Parenthood’s services. Not for education or contraceptives, sadly, but for the very thing they picket and protest against: abortion. In the spring of 2000, Joyce Arthur collected anecdotes from doctors, nurses and health workers at PP as well as pro-life women about women who obtain abortions even though they protest at clinics and identify as pro-life. It’s eye opening.

Abortion is an incredibly polarizing subject. What people forget when they argue that subject is that it’s also a very difficult, painful choice for the women who make it. It doesn’t need to be turned into a shameful, guilt ridden one as well because someone doesn’t approve. The people at PP are doing a difficult job providing services to men, women and children who need them. They don’t need “saving,” and their patients deserve dignity and understanding. They’re not a cause, they’re people. Actions like those of Matthew Derosia just further remove the realization of that fact.

BLOWFISH TESTICLES POISON SEVEN!

Best. Headline. EVAR. No, I am not even kidding. Story here.

Apparently, 44 people were sickened and 3 people died from fugu poisoning in Japan last year, usually from preparing puffer fish at home. This particular incident took place in a restaurant in which the sushi chef was not licensed to prepare the dish. Fortunately, all the diners survived, or I’d feel horrible about the mocking headline.

Okay, honestly, I was giggling before I even found out they were all still alive. My mind kept visualising the funerals…. “It’s how he would’ve wanted to go…” Can you see it? I mean, I grant you, you wouldn’t care once you were dead, but can you see YOUR significant other explaining to people that you died eating fish testicles? I can actually see my friends’ faces as the darling man delivered the news; all of them nodding and trying not to smile, thinking “yup, that sounds about right…”

Artificial Virginity Hymens

Look at that! You can fake your orgasms AND your virginity. Every time I think I’m maybe going over the top in my cynicism with respect to the human race, said human race manages to surprise and disappoint still further.

“Kee-RIST, Left,” you mutter to yourself, “what are you on about now?” I’m glad you asked. It’s this Japanese product which describes itself thusly:

Insert this artificial hymen into your vagina carefully. It will expand a little and make you feel tight. When your lover penetrate, it will ooze out a liquid that look like blood not too much but just the right amount. Add in a few moans and groan, you will pass through undetectable.

Ummm….yeah. Really, isn’t it time we got rid of the whole virginity/purity perception? Women have more to offer the world than an unbroken flap of tissue and then a life as a baby incubator. Not to mention the dishonesty implicit in a product like this. Now…if your lover has a thing for virgins and you’re into it…more power to you, I guess…but if you’re having sex (like most functional adult women) and lying to the man you’re marrying so that he’ll still marry you? You’re lying to both of you. And if that’s all he really values about you, why the hell do you want to be with him anyway?

Madonna: What to Get the Woman Who Has Everything?

Why not a child from a third world country?  Latest dish is that Madonna and her man of the month Alex Rodriguez will be flying to Malawi to adopt a 4 year old girl whose mother died after giving birth.

I’m torn. On the one hand, this child will likely receive advantages to which she never would have had access in Malawi…and that’s very good, indeed. Hopefully she’ll grow to be as much of a philanthropist as her future mum. On the other hand…it chills me no end that this woman treats children like fashion accessories. New man? Need a new kid… Angelina Jolie adopted another one? Better snag a cuter one fast. World tour? Round it off with an adoption and a photo op. And how much time does she spend with each of these kids? Does she actually do any, you know, MOTHERING? Or are they shuffled off to nannies while she jets around the world?

Am I angry? Well…maybe. I take my role as mom very seriously. I spend time going to band practices, recitals, helping with projects and homework, taking the kids to movies and museums…and of course dinner every night…all because I know damn well that this is temporary, this motherhood thing..that they’re going to leave soon enough and each second I get with them is important. So, yes. To see someone like Madonna so flippantly adopting here and there as if it’s nothing more than a trip to the mall gets on my mom nerve. It’s great that she wants to make a difference in the life of a child, and for that I applaud her. But I still question just how altruistic her motives really are, and who will really be raising that little girl.

Catherine Zeta-Jones=Dr. Who?

From this story in The Guardian.

First, let it be said that I am a loyal, even frothing, Whovian. I was more than slightly miffed to learn that Christopher Eccleston, quite possibly the sexiest Dr. Who ever, was being replaced by that guy who played Barty Crouch Jr in the Harry Potter movie. Okay, yes, I was proven wrong and all was well. Better than well, in fact, as David Tennant freakin’ ROCKS as the Doctor, and is now close to surpassing my all-time favorite Tom Baker for best Doctor.

Sound like a fan-girl? Yeah, I prolly do. I am devastated that the incredibly talented Mr. Tennant is leaving the show. He brought a depth and scope to the character that renewed the interest of me and countless other fans who had written the show off as long dead. Plus the writing was actually GOOD this time! *sigh*…. such is life. We are inexorably doomed to a rotating door; such is the nature of the Doctor himself.

But….Catherine Zeta-Jones? Really? Don’t get me wrong, I like the woman. Good actress, amazing dancer, just…well…THE Doctor? Meh.

The new head writer, Steven Moffatt, will be choosing the next Doctor. I am confident he’ll find the right person for the job. The episodes he’s written have really shone, especially Blink (he also created and wrote Coupling, another of my favorite Brit series). Choose wisely, Steven. The trust of us loony Whovians rests in your hands. 😉

Around the World in 40 Days or: Sarah Palin’s World Leaders Photojournal

So with about 40 days left til the general, some brilliant individual over at the McCain campaign finally figured out that being able to “see Russia from [her] back yard” isn’t really the same thing as foriegn policy experience. Enter the Magical Diplomacy Tour idea.

Premise: parade Sarah, as photographed by the press corps, in front of as many world leaders as is humanly possible in four days. Ordinarily I would write this off as a cheap stunt, but let’s face it…after her cringeworthy interview with Katie Couric and how “mean” the press is being to her by reporting the facts about her, the woman can use all the good press she can get.

Maureen Dowd, for one, remains unimpressed:

I don’t agree with those muttering darkly that the picture of Gov. Sarah Palin with a perky smile and shapely gams posing with a pleased Henry Kissinger, famous for calling power the ultimate aphrodisiac, is a sign of the apocalypse.

It isn’t even a sign of the apocalipstick.

Gotta love the woman.

To be fair, Ms. Palin is playing a game of catch-up against a competitor who has had years to build his foreign policy resume. However; I’m not sure parading her in front of the press and some pervy Pakistanis telling her what a babe she is is any more of an endorsement than Laura Bush saying she catches on real quick. This is the same woman who says history will vindicate her husband.

In addition, it seems Ms. Palin isn’t discussing much with these world leaders once the obligatory photo ops are out of the way. The fact that the press still insists on following her on her It’s-A-Small-World-Express even while it’s made quite clear they’re little more than accomplices as a means to her end is more than a bit mystifying. Kate Snow in particular wasn’t pleased:

SNOW: Outside, a clear shot of her exit. Until, a patrol car and Secret Service SUV just happened to pull up right in front of our cameras. Next up, Colombia’s President Alvaro Uribe. They reportedly talked trade. The pool camera got 15 seconds. With Henry Kissinger, even less.

UNIDENTIFIED VOICE TO CAMERA MAN: Would you please turn around and walk out the door? Thank you. Thank you very much. Thank you, guys. Please. Thank you.

SNOW: Outside, a quick good-bye. And even quicker exit.

MATTHEW DOWD (ABC News analyst): The campaign is trying to protect themselves and Governor Palin, from putting her in a position where a mistake can be made.

SNOW: While Governor Palin played diplomat, husband Todd and the kids were secretly sight-seeing, taking pictures in front of the Statue of Liberty, visiting Ground Zero, eating hot dogs in Central Park. And trying on princess dresses at FAO Schwartz. Constantly in motion, Palin side-stepped questions and fans as she was whisked from one meeting to the next.

So quit encouraging her! This is obviously a publicity stunt. Take the cameras and go find another story. Heaven knows we have enough going on with the economy to keep everyone busy. Bloody hell, to think a few weeks ago I was annoyed at McCain for invoking Paris Hilton. I didn’t think, then, that he was going to put someone equally vacuous on the ticket. In fact, Palin’s worse than Hilton. At least Hilton knows she’s nothing more than a vapid heiress. Palin actually thinks she’s relevant.

Texas Supreme Court Tells Libertarian Candidate to Sit Down and Shut his Piehole.

As reported at this site, Bob Barr, the presidential candidate for the Libertarian Party, has filed an injunction claiming that neither John McCain nor Barack Obama had submitted the necessary paperwork to be considered as candidates for President of the United States, and demanding that they be removed from Texas ballots, thus putting into question the status of Texas’ 34 electoral votes.

And as predicted, the Supreme Court of the state of Texas has told Barr to shut the hell up.

[But}…the Democratic and Republican state parties had filed official documents with the Secretary of State stating their presumed presidential candidates. The Democrats threw in Joe Biden’s name and the Republicans said they would report back with the name of their vice presidential contender, which they did.

Apparently, the Supreme Court felt that was sufficient, especially in light of the catastrophic alientation of voters if neither of the major party candidates could appear on the November ballot.

C’mon. Let us be honest. It’s not surprising, sure, but it isn’t about the “alienation of voters” nearly as much as it’s about the fact that McCain can’t win without Texas. He needs us BAD, as badly as Obama needs California. I don’t doubt, though, stubborn as the citizens of my adopted state seem to be, they still would’ve shown up, and still would’ve written McCain’s name in on the ballot if such was necessary.

Calm down. The world is not ending.

I promise.

As I’m sure you all know by now, the Large Hadron Collider, a massive particle accelerator, is scheduled to be fired up tomorrow. It’s a huge undertaking, and the physics behind it is both astounding and exciting. As it turns out, in some cases it’s downright frightening.

The phycisists working at CERN are receiving death threats. Blogs here at WordPress are prophesying doom. Suits have been brought to stop the experiment from taking place. People, people, people. Calm. The f&*% . Down. There is no actual science behind the knee jerk reaction that the LHC will create a black hole and we’re all DOOOOOOOOMED, AAARRRGHARGHARGH!!!!

If you really want to know what is going to happen and how, go here. What this will tell us, essentially, is how matter acquires mass. Even if a black hole is formed, it will be miniscule, and will likely evaporate instantaneously.

So chill. Please. The world is not ending.

Edit: Had to plug in the xkcd comic. Love it.

Dinosaurs Helped Build the Pyramids.

At least….they did according to Vince Fenech, director of Mosta Academy* in Malta. Mr. Fenech is responsible for the education of young minds, aged 4 to 18; something that should cause any parent with a shred of awareness and common sense to cringe and thank the First Amendment that, at least for right now, this nonsense is not being taught in American public schools.

My question (and perhaps I’m being nitpicky in asking) is how the hell do people like this become educators?! No, really. I know teachers are in demand, but how hard up does one have to be to graduate and license a fundamentalist nutjob who is so far out of touch with scientifically proven data, they are actually misinforming who knows how many children to the point that those kids will find it difficult to function in normal society? I mean….what thoughts go through the heads of parents who enroll their children in places like this? “Gee, if I enroll my kids here, they probably won’t ever be able to get accepted to an accredited college, but that’s okay! The world needs janitors, too.”

Harsh? Possibly. But if we have a responsibility to our children at all, it isn’t to keep force feeding them fairy stories til they’re 18 so that they’ll be totally unprepared when they are faced with real challenges. We do our kids no favors by shielding them from reality. If anything, we are doing damage by “protecting” them. The world will teach lessons we fail to instill, and society will be far less kind and nurturing in the process.

There are times when it really seems to me that the resurgence of groups like the Flat Earth Society and the oh-so-charming Fred Phelps & his Westboro Baptist Church (note the web address; can’t you just FEEL Jesus’ love?) signal a serious regression in the education of our kids. There exists such a back lash against fact and science…and for the life of me I can’t begin to understand why. Why are we so intent on keeping our children ignorant? Why is it necessary to ensure that our legacy to them is more superstition and fear? Can we really be so arrogant that we presume that doing so is in their best interest? That learning will in some way harm them?

The only other alternative I can come up with is that some people actively attempt to keep their kids from knowing more than they do; which is so vain and stupid that it boggles my mind to try to wrap itself around the idea. Every generation will learn more than the generation before it. That’s the way life works; it keeps our species moving forward. To attempt to stop that is to encourage our species to devolve.

With all our advances in science, we are past the primitive point where we can accept that the loud noises in the sky are the gods throwing down thunderbolts. The advent of the Hubble telescope, the beautiful images it has sent back and this scale model of our solar system & nearest stars that’s been circling the web for a year or so have shown us just how huge our universe truly is an how unlikely it is that some benevolent all knowing being is “watching over us.”

I do not pretend to have all the answers. Nor do I believe science has provided them all. Yet. It may be that we may someday find all the information we’re looking for. But I do know that if we insist on keeping science and learning from our children, it will only serve to delay that someday. We owe it to them as parents to encourage them to learn.

*I have no idea why this story is only now making the rounds; it’s just bizarre and outrageous enough that it should have been all over the place last year.